Effin.Frustrated.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009 at8:04 PM
You just don't get it, do you?
Why don't you understand how i'm feeling?!
I get angry so easily, i hardly feel like talking and joking, i'm losing my sleep slowly and i just don't feel the interest in doing anything any more..
I don't feel like reading, writing, studying, listening to music, talking, watching tv.. Nothing.. I just don't feel the.. The life i had within me..
Yet you don't see all these, do you..? You just happily assume that i'm being stubborn and that i need some attitude lessons or whatever people call it..
Well you know what i really need? A fucking break!
A break from all your ranting and anger and just a little bit of attention and concern.. But you just refuse to give it to me, right? 'Cause you think YOU'RE the one who needs all that and I'M the one who has to provide it..
I'm really getting sick and tired of being your toy.. Vend your anger on me when you feel like it, throw me aside when you don't need me and use me when you need something..
Can't you see what all these studies, problems, atmosphere is doing to me..?
I'm feeling suicidal for heaven's sake!
Every time i go to school, i have to put on a mask so that i don't become the downer in the group.
I TRY to tell you that i'm stressed and you tell me that i'm just imagining things..
So when I'M stressed i'm imagining things and when YOU'RE stressed, it's real..?
Fine, you have your problems too! I know! I never said i didn't, right? But YOU'RE not the only person who's got problems okay? I've got them too.. I wish you would just pause and think about me for a moment or two rather than just thinking about yourself and your problems..
I don't want to lose myself to depression or anything, but it seems like you're pushing me into it.. I want to excel in my studies and you're not helping.. Come on, give me a break.. Try and understand what i'm going through also..
The life's being slowly drained out of me and i really don't wanna lose myself.. Wish you would understand that and show some mercy..
Why i ask for mercy and not just demand for what i want..? 'Cause i love you and i can't bring myself to scream at you or hurt you..
Yea, life's been pretty harsh on me recently.. I think i'm finally snapping and i reeeeally need a break.. But you know what's the worst part..? I can't take a break cause of my Final Year Exams.. *Sigh*.. I'm getting sick of everything around me and about life.. I'm just losing interest in everything already.. I can hardly concentrate during lessons and that's not a good thing.. Hopefully i'll do well for my Final Year Exams.. Just a week or two and then i can relax.. And i can take the break i so badly need.. But till then, i just have to keep myself together and keep going.. My fuel: my friends.. They are always there in school to make me smile.. [: LOVE YOU GUYS. Well, i'm really hoping to score on my English, Maths, MTL and Art. Combine Science and Combine Humanities are the hard ones but hopefully i'll pass, eh? Yea, hopefully.. Well, i guess i really have nothing much to say.. Soooo i'll just take off.. Bye Bee~!
xoxo
Geetha
